Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in! Today, I wanted to delve deeper into a topic we touched on a few days ago: invalidation. It’s a subject that’s close to my heart because it’s something I see so often, both in my therapy sessions and in everyday life.

What is Invalidation?

Invalidation, put simply, is when we dismiss or belittle someone’s feelings, consciously or not. It’s like telling someone that what they’re feeling isn’t important or valid, or that they’re overreacting. And let me tell you, it’s rampant.

Common Scenarios

Whether it’s in relationships, friendships, or even in the workplace, invalidation rears its head far too often. And here’s the thing: most of the time, people aren’t doing it maliciously. It’s not like they’re intentionally trying to hurt you. It’s just that sometimes, things fall on deaf ears.

The Uncomfortable Truth

I’ve noticed that even I catch myself doing it sometimes. Usually, it’s because I’m feeling uncomfortable with the level of emotion in a situation. Emotions can be messy, and sitting with them requires patience and sometimes, a lack of control. And let’s be honest, control is something many of us struggle with.

The Impact of Invalidation

But here’s the kicker: invalidation often makes things worse. I’ll give you an example. One time, my kids were playing outside, and they came up with this absolutely bonkers idea to tie my three-year-old daughter to a skateboard and pull her behind a toy car. Predictably, it ended in disaster, and my first instinct was to scold them. But what I didn’t realize was that my scolding only intensified my daughter’s distress.

The Power of Validation

See, here’s the thing about validation: it’s like magic. When you acknowledge someone’s feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do, it can work wonders. It doesn’t always solve the problem, but it can ease the emotional burden and make the situation more manageable.

Practicing Validation

So, how do we practice validation? Well, it starts with a simple question: “Do you want me to help you solve this problem, or do you just need someone to listen?” It’s about Finding the Balance

And here’s the thing about validation: it’s not about agreeing with the other person. It’s about finding that kernel of truth in what they’re saying and letting them know that you hear them. It’s about acknowledging their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.

Embracing the Discomfort

Now, I won’t lie to you: practicing validation can feel uncomfortable at first. It goes against our instinct to fix things, to make everything better. But trust me when I say that it’s worth it. The more you practice validation, the easier it becomes, and the more meaningful your connections with others will be.

Conclusion

So, next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is upset or struggling, remember the power of validation. It might not solve all their problems, but it can make a world of difference. Thanks for joining me on this deep dive into invalidation, and I’ll catch you on the next one!